Teach me

Baby…

I don’t know how you do that. I don’t know how you can live happily after you took away my heart and my soul.

How can you listen to a song without crying? How can you look into a mirror without hating your face? How can you sleep in the night without a bad dream? How…

Can you please teach me? Just teach me how to be a heartless like you.

Reason

My friend said when love happens, we can hardly find any reason why it happens. On the other hand, when love ends, there are many reasons people come up with to explain why it has to end.

I don’t know about anybody else but I know why I loved him. There are thousand of reasons for me to fall in love with this man. Only one of them is enough to be a reason why I would love him for the rest of my life.

But what I can’t really find is the reason not to love him, the reason that our love supposes to end.

In fact, it already ended but I’m still questioning myself… why?

What else can I do for love if not love?

Spare some rooms in your heart when you love someone

I don’t know when and where I first heard this sentence. But my impression to it is exactly like when you hear somebody talks about a flying horse.

I used to be a person who totally believes in love. And I think I used to be loved. Every single moment, love made me feel so warm and secure. I perceived it as just a simple thing, simple but beautiful. I don’t know how complicate love is. When I love someone, I just love.

Why? Why do I have to spare rooms in my heart when I love someone?

It is not a game. It is something beyond my control. I can’t keep being paranoid worrying that when I’m gonna fall. I actually never thought I’m gonna fall. I never thought someone who loves me is going to let me down.

I’m obviously wrong.

Even so, I don’t understand how people can spare rooms in their heart. When you love someone don’t you use the entire heart to love? Can you divide your heart in two parts and use just one to love?

Really, I don’t know how to do that. If I do, I wouldn’t be in this pain. I would have some rooms in my heart left, so that I could escape from this painful heart to the healthy one.

I guess I’m gonna be in pain forever because I don’t know how to spare rooms in my heart. If love happens to me again, I hope that it’s just simple and beautiful as I always see it.

The next morning

Last night, I had the sweetest dream
You were holding my hand
Touching my face
Looking into my eyes...

I smiled next to my pillow.

The sun rises
I open my eyes
The smile is gone
My heart falls

I close my eyes again
You aren’t there

I miss you