I'm scared

When I think about my life, there are so many miserable things I’ve been through.

I realize that I’m not a lucky type. I never really get a special treat.

Everything I am, I made it happen myself.

I never really ask for something without trying first.

I need super power to help me sometimes but I don’t usually ask unless I’m desperate.

I know that there are many people who need it more than me.

So, I pretty much rely on myself.

I don’t know if it happens to other people who live their lives like me.

But I think things get screwed up easily as I’m trying to be a better person.

Sometimes it messes up so awful that I have become so scared.

Scared of tomorrow

I cannot be too happy because when I am, it won’t last very long.

I have no idea why I deserve this kind of punishment.

Every time I smile, I have to suppress it, make damn sure that I’m not too happy.

Every time I think positively, I have to spare some room for a negative.

I don’t expect my life to be perfect.

I just don’t want it to be too cruel.