I’m wondering, how many times that I hear people use the word “abstract” with things like painting, sculpture, and other art-involved pieces.
I know the definition of “abstract” but I just don’t feel it.
People use it so much that I got really curious if sometimes they should even be using the word.
I’m not a very “deep” person, so most of the time, I like to make things easy.
I found a common characteristic of the use of the word “abstract.”
It’s when people can’t really tell what that thing’s supposed to represent.
when they can’t tell what it is exactly…
when they don’t know the real meaning of it…
There comes the word “abstract.”
I think back to my life.
Hell… that’s exactly what my love life is.
It was a picture of two people sitting, holding hands on the beach.
quiet… but full of meaning
Now that your paint brush is moving, colors splattering all over.
Even so, when I look at the picture, I can still see figures of the two people.
I can see not much else but I can feel it.
It’s still a picture of us, to me…. even if it is a pure abstract to the whole world.
Sunday
Tuesday
You
I thought…because I was upset about other things, I called you.
Actually, deeply, I think… other things are just an excuse for me.
Why am I still looking at our pictures everyday.
What is it that I see in that picture?
Nothing…nothing I can see
Just the thing that I feel
Does that make us special at all?
I’d like to think so.
I’d like to think to myself every time that there’s something special between us.
There are many things in this world that people want to conquer, want to accomplish.
I don’t care. I just want this, this love to become possible.
It’s the only thing I ever pray for.
It’s the only wish I make on every occasion that comes around.
Things are dark all around. Life is not so fun for me.
I wish you could feel me.
I know that it’s impossible. We live separate lives.
At least, feel this baby… feel how much I miss you.
Please stop hurting me.
I’m just someone who loves you…
very much
Actually, deeply, I think… other things are just an excuse for me.
Why am I still looking at our pictures everyday.
What is it that I see in that picture?
Nothing…nothing I can see
Just the thing that I feel
Does that make us special at all?
I’d like to think so.
I’d like to think to myself every time that there’s something special between us.
There are many things in this world that people want to conquer, want to accomplish.
I don’t care. I just want this, this love to become possible.
It’s the only thing I ever pray for.
It’s the only wish I make on every occasion that comes around.
Things are dark all around. Life is not so fun for me.
I wish you could feel me.
I know that it’s impossible. We live separate lives.
At least, feel this baby… feel how much I miss you.
Please stop hurting me.
I’m just someone who loves you…
very much
Saturday
Hello, it's me
This, I just want to remind myself of what have I just done.
Yeh… you asked me many, many times, why, why did I call you?
I simply told you and myself, I miss you and I wanna hear your voice.
I didn’t hesitate at all when I picked up the phone, dialed your number.
But when I heard your voice, I don’t know why but my entire body shook like I’m buried in ice the whole 3 hours we talked.
I was kinda surprised to hear myself talking to you like nothing ever happened.
I was relaxed, lively, and compassionate. I was myself.
You sounded really surprised to get a call from me, asked me many times if I’m in Thailand right now.
I said “no” but you still thought I was.
I told you to go to my house then. But you said you’re afraid of my family, you’re afraid that they’ll kill you for what you had done to me.
I said “I love you”. You said “I love you too”.
You said you wanna see me again. I asked you “in what status?”
You said “like the way we were.” I said “then make it happen.”
Then you cried. You said something about the mistake you shouldn’t have made. You said your life is not happy. You see nothing when you wake up in the morning. But you saw things when we were together.
You said so many things about that but I couldn’t hear because you were crying at the same time.
I was trying not to cry but I couldn’t help it. We were in a sad mode for a while before I brought us back to reality.
You asked me about my life. But I was too afraid to ask you about yours.
I told you the top three activities that make me think about you the most.
First, ironing cloths.
Second, peeling fruit.
Third, making bed.
You listened and you tried to tell me the right way to do. I thought that was sweet.
Then we talked about those days when we were together.
We talked about the plate set we bought. We were so excited that it was so cheap.
You told me that you still keep everything we used when we were together.
All my notebooks, every single paper that has my handwriting, our pictures, Manchester United crochet that I made for your birthday, you said you still keep.
You asked me many times if I have a new boyfriend.
I told you that I don’t but you still, somewhat, didn’t believe me.
You asked me how’s the weather. I told you that it’s still pretty cold and yet I’m still wearing skirt.
You asked me if I wear too short skirt. You sounded concerned about me. That makes me feel so good.
We talked until the phone said “one minute remains.”
I said “I miss you”, you said “I miss you very, very much (with high voice tone).
Then the phone got cut.
It was really nice talking to you. It makes me miss you even more.
Yeh… you asked me many, many times, why, why did I call you?
I simply told you and myself, I miss you and I wanna hear your voice.
I didn’t hesitate at all when I picked up the phone, dialed your number.
But when I heard your voice, I don’t know why but my entire body shook like I’m buried in ice the whole 3 hours we talked.
I was kinda surprised to hear myself talking to you like nothing ever happened.
I was relaxed, lively, and compassionate. I was myself.
You sounded really surprised to get a call from me, asked me many times if I’m in Thailand right now.
I said “no” but you still thought I was.
I told you to go to my house then. But you said you’re afraid of my family, you’re afraid that they’ll kill you for what you had done to me.
I said “I love you”. You said “I love you too”.
You said you wanna see me again. I asked you “in what status?”
You said “like the way we were.” I said “then make it happen.”
Then you cried. You said something about the mistake you shouldn’t have made. You said your life is not happy. You see nothing when you wake up in the morning. But you saw things when we were together.
You said so many things about that but I couldn’t hear because you were crying at the same time.
I was trying not to cry but I couldn’t help it. We were in a sad mode for a while before I brought us back to reality.
You asked me about my life. But I was too afraid to ask you about yours.
I told you the top three activities that make me think about you the most.
First, ironing cloths.
Second, peeling fruit.
Third, making bed.
You listened and you tried to tell me the right way to do. I thought that was sweet.
Then we talked about those days when we were together.
We talked about the plate set we bought. We were so excited that it was so cheap.
You told me that you still keep everything we used when we were together.
All my notebooks, every single paper that has my handwriting, our pictures, Manchester United crochet that I made for your birthday, you said you still keep.
You asked me many times if I have a new boyfriend.
I told you that I don’t but you still, somewhat, didn’t believe me.
You asked me how’s the weather. I told you that it’s still pretty cold and yet I’m still wearing skirt.
You asked me if I wear too short skirt. You sounded concerned about me. That makes me feel so good.
We talked until the phone said “one minute remains.”
I said “I miss you”, you said “I miss you very, very much (with high voice tone).
Then the phone got cut.
It was really nice talking to you. It makes me miss you even more.
Your Angel
Sometimes, I think I am a very stupid person.
I really think so but I still can’t stop being so.
When I look at us, I see us but I see no future.
I told you, I can go only so far. The rest is up to you.
I told you that I’m still here, where are you.
I really wish I could do more but I’m no angel.
You told me that I am, to you.
What does angel like me have to do?
Love you
Miss you
Care for you
You already know that I do.
What else I have to do.
To make you…
love me more
I really think so but I still can’t stop being so.
When I look at us, I see us but I see no future.
I told you, I can go only so far. The rest is up to you.
I told you that I’m still here, where are you.
I really wish I could do more but I’m no angel.
You told me that I am, to you.
What does angel like me have to do?
Love you
Miss you
Care for you
You already know that I do.
What else I have to do.
To make you…
love me more